NFC
NFC East
In the NFC East, we have what everyone is calling a "Dream Team." I hope everyone enjoys that term because if the Eagles win at least nine games this season, that term will be thrown out more than the town floozy after a night of fun. However, I don't really think that they are going to be as good as advertised, bad offensive line, injury prone quarterback with Vince Young backing him up. Blah. Washington will be mediocre, in a fashion that only Rex Grossman can produce. New York is going to be sucking it up from the back of the pack, injuries, injuries, injuries. So that leaves me with only one team, Cowboys. I hate em, but I think they are going to win this division, hands down.
The Crap Division
Who will win the NFC West? Let's keep this short, these are the starting quarterbacks for these four teams: Kevin Kolb for the Cardinals, Sam Bradford for the Rams, Alex Smith for the 49ers (side note: Alex Smith was drafted first in the very same draft that saw the next quarterback taken slip to the 24th pick, Super Bowl Champ Aaron Rodgers), and Tarvaris Jackson for the What the Fuck is Pete Carroll Gonna Do Out There Seahawks. So obviously the 49ers and Seahawks are out (bummer because the 49ers are my second favorite team), so that leaves us with the Cards and Rams, who I think will tie for the division lead, Rams getting the tie breaker despite splitting the season series.
NFC South
Now this is a hard division to put your finger on. The Falcons were the top of the NFC last year, the Saints are typically always good (as long as Brees still has an arm), the Panthers have Cam Newton (they shall suck), and Tampa has Freeman and would have made the playoffs is the Bears could have just taken down the Packers in week 17 in a game that did not matter for them but meant everything for Green Bay. Panthers in last, Falcons in third (What!?!), Tampa gets to second, Saints win the division, But Tampa makes the Playoffs. How exciting this division will be!
NFC North
Last year, Chicago won the division, Packers won the Super Bowl, Vikings started some douche named Brett Favre (Penis and all), and the Lions made strides while Stafford was healthy (something he is not often). Now the Vikings added Donovan McNabb.....so they are going to finish last. Packers will obviously win the division (barring a Rodgers injury). Bears win a wild card, trust me on this...Cutler will be good this year. He's skinnier, he worked on his footwork in the off season, he has the same shitty receivers as last year that he was doing pretty well with but now with Roy Williams who wants to make some money next year, and losing Olsen means not that much, sure he caught the ball but Martz's offense doesn't want a tight end that catch the ball, that's with Des Clark is gone also, it needs a blocking tight end, something Olsen was terrible at. Lions will deal with injury and finish a noble third.
NFC
North
Packers 13-3
Bears 11-5
Lions 8-8
Vikings 5-11
East
Cowboys 12-4
Eagles 11-5
Redskins 7-9
Giants 6-10
South
Saints 12-4
Buccaneers 11-5
Falcons 10-6
Panthers 3-13
West
Rams 9-7
Cardinals 9-7
49ers 4-12
Seahawks 3-13
AFC
AFC North
This, my friends, will be a division that displays both the Haves and the Have-Nots. Pittsburgh and Baltimore are on a completely different level than the Bengals and the Browns. During the eight games played between the Haves and the Have-Nots, I predict the Browns will win one of those games and the Bengals will win none. However, Pittsburgh is beastly and I think they'll have one more win more game than the Ravens, Browns better than Bengals.
AFC South
Alrite, no Peyton Manning means forget about those Pesky Colts. Jaguars are starting a McCown and cutting Garrard (Wtf?). Titans have Hasselback. And the Texans have no defense. This leads me to believe that the Jags will come last, say goodbye to Del Rio, followed closely by the Colts cuz maybe Peyton plays some games, then the Titans, and the Texans finally make the playoffs, because if they don't Kubiak's gone.
AFC East
Remember those Haves and Have-Nots, that applies here too. The Dolpins and the Bills are going to be Really Really Really Terrible. Chad Henne!?!?! Cmon!!!! Fitzpatrick is not that bad actually but that team is not good. Whichever one of these teams that ends up with only one win will be picking Andrew Luck next year, and then they won't have to worry about being that terrible anymore, that will be the Dolphins. Now, the Jets and the Patriots on the other hand will be two truly dominant teams. Pats on top, Jets in the Wild Card. Moving on...
Crap Division of the AFC
I think that everyone in their right mind knows that the Chargers will win this division, especially now that Special Teams mean so much less. The Broncos, Raiders, and Chiefs will have to battle it out for mediocrity, with the Broncos probably being the best of the three, Chiefs and Raiders tying for last (Cassel and Campbell).
AFC
North
Steelers 13-3
Ravens 12-4
Browns 5-11
Bengals 4-12
South
Texans 10-6
Titans 7-9
Colts 5-11
Jaguars 3-13
East
Patriots 14-2
Jets 12-4
Bills 6-10
Dolphins 1-15
West
Chargers 12-4
Broncos 8-8
Raiders 4-12
Chiefs 4-12
Playoffs (Winners in Bold and Red)
Wild Card Round
6) Bears at 3) Saints
5) Buccaneers at 4) Rams
6) Jets at 3) Chargers
5) Ravens at 4) Texans
Divisional Round
6) Bears at 1) Packers
5) Buccaneers at 2) Cowboys
5) Ravens at 1) Patriots
3) Chargers at 2) Steelers
Conference Championships
5) Buccaneers at 1) Packers
2) Steelers at 1) Patriots
Super Bowl
Rematch of last year but this time the Steelers take down the Pack attack. Mark my words suckas!!!!!
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