"Conference Round Preview" or "The Only Team I Hate Left is the Heat"

Rose Ascends while the Heat Remain Grounded

I apologize to my many, many, many readers for not being able to post this Conference Final stuff before the actual Conference Finals started, but my life has been thrown into something of an upheaval what with my computer pooping out on me and my car following suit within three days of each other. It's been fun, but I have my brother's computer with me today so I can finally post this up.

Last round was awesome to say the least. So let's get to it.

Jeremy's Round Two Predictions Revisited

East

1) Bulls vs. 5) Hawks
My Prediction: Bulls in 4
Reality: Bulls in 6
Well, the Bulls won and that's all that really matters here. Jeff Teague turned out to be a worthy offensive foe seeing as he basically propelled them to win both of their victories. However, no one messes with Derrick Rose's status as the dominant force in every playoff series. It was wrong of me to think that they would sweep. Only the defending champs are allowed to be swept!

2) Heat vs. 3) Celtics
My Prediction: Celtics in 7
Harsh Reality: Heat in 5
Damn you, Heat! I will say that they deserved to win the first three games of the series, but Rondo going down in game four was the real series changer. Do I assume that the Celts would have won the next four games? No. However, I do think that after they win game four, they would have won game five if Rondo hadn't been hurt. Then we have the Heat feeling the pressure going back into Boston for game six. Definitely we could have seen some crazy stuff and in the process allowed the Heat to get a little worn down. But no! That can't happen when the most pivotal player on the Celtics dislocates his elbow and Shaq is not the Superman they thought.

West

8) Grizzlies vs 4) Sonics
My Prediction: Sonics in 7
Sweet Reality: Sonics in 7
Pretty much nailed this one on the head, it was a dogfight. I learned two things from this series: 1) The Grizzlies are not just some flash in the pan. If Randolph can continue to play at the level he has this year, then this is a team that is only going to grow, and with the advanced age of some of the other powers in the Western Conference, we could see this team creep up to a five seed. 2) The Sonics will most likely be next year's one seed looking down at the theoretical fifth place Grizzlies, because it seems as if Durant and Westbrook are on the same page here. They took the series with ease in game seven, winning by fifteen, not really any question as to who was ready to be playing the Mavs the Western Finals.

2) Lakers vs 3) Mavs
My Prediction: Lakers in 6
Hilarious Hilarious Reality: Mavs in 4!!!!!!
I thought the Lakers were going to get it together for this series, having already been pushed by a New Orleans team that had no business taking the Lakers to six games. But they showed us that actually, they were completely complacent with two titles and had no solution to Dirk Nowitski. More hilarious than watching the Lakers walk off of the court with their heads down: Nothing. I like Kobe because he is a good player and he rarely is talking about anything other than basketball. He doesn't host SNL, despite the fact that he has won five championships and therefore has more reason to host SNL than LeBron, but whatever. But it's still just so great to see the Lakers fall like a bunch of fools. Good job Mavericks!!!!

Conference Finals Preview

Eastern Finals

1) Bulls vs 2) Heat
This is going to be one interesting series. These two teams show up after two completely different previous series. The Heat handled the Celtics in five, while the Bulls struggled with some of the more Teaguey aspects of the Hawks. This series presents me with two polar opposite possible results due to the fact that I am a rampant Bulls fan and that I despise the Heat with every ounce of my being, especially that piece of shit LeBron, I hope he breaks his ankle in seven places. So either the Bulls win and I am extremely happy because the Bulls are going to the Finals and they dispatched of LeDouche, or the Heat win and I am doubly miserable because they beat the Bulls and stupid LeBron would most likely be on his way to a title. However, I have faith that the same aspects of the Bulls game (defense and DRose) that allowed them to sweep the season series will also allow them to win this series. After all, the Heat celebrated pretty hard after beating the Celtics, clearly the Celtics were the team that they were geared up to take down. Well guess what morons, you are the team that the remaining three teams are geared up to beat. I hope South Beach is accepting when you lose the series at home. Bulls in 6

Western Finals

3) Mavs vs 4) Sonics
The amped up Mavs take on the tired Sonics, after expending a large amount of energy on the dispatching of the Grizzlies. What shall we get? We have an old team that has had lots of time to rest and a young team, who should theoretically be able to keep up since they are functioning on young legs, able to withstand the rigors of a postseason when there have only been a few previous appearances. I really don't know. It's hard for me to pick against the team that just wasted the Lakers, and it seems foolish to continue doubting a team that has shut up doubters for the last two series. However, the Sonics are really good, and they are young, and Westbrook and Durant are firing on all cylinders. I'm going against my better instincts, but they are just so good, backpacks and all. Sonics in 7

"Second Round Preview" or "How the Bulls Played Guaranteed Victories the First Two Rounds"

Get used to seeing a lot of this.

First off, I would like to thank the Grizzlies for taking care of the Spurs in six, so I could write this second round post before any of the second round games actually started. A San Antonio-Memphis game seven would have thrown a total wrench in my plans. Also, I would like to thank Derrick Rose for keeping it going for the Bulls despite a feistier Pacers team than most thought, most fools anyway. My plan here is to first analyze the predictions from last round, then move onto Round 2.

Jeremy's Round One Predictions Revisited

East

1) Bulls vs. 8) Pacers
My Prediction: Bulls in 5
Actuality: Bulls in 5
I was dead on with this one. Pacers were rough and the Bulls persevered in five games. Bulls move on and get some time to rest Boozer's foot, Rose's ankle.

2) Heat vs. 7) 76ers
My Prediction: Heat in 6
Actuality: Heat in 5
Well, I basically got this right, but I gave the 76ers too much credit. LBJ and DWade move on to a real challenge.

3) Celtics vs. 6) Knickerbockers
My Prediction: Celts in 6
Actuality: Celts Sweep in 4
What we learned here: Knicks are not as good as we thought. Celtics awoke in this series and after escaping with a win in Game 1, they pretty much just took the series over and Stoudemire got hurt, and now the Celtics are focusing on the Heat, and the Knicks are already out of the NorthEast and getting drunk in Florida.

4) Magic vs. 5) Hawks
My Prediction: Hawks in 7
Actuality: Hawks upset in 6
Bad Luck for the Magic, who seem to have no way to beat this not so grand Hawks team. Also, Hinrich helps the Hawks win and gets hurt with two minutes left in the series. God must be a Bulls fan.

West

1) Spurs vs. 8) Grizzlies
My Prediction: Spurs in 5
Actuality: Grizzlies in 6
This is my only wrong series pick of the first round. But to be fair, I did say that I knew nothing about the Grizzlies, and I do know that the Spurs are totally weak sauce.

2) Lakers vs. 7) Hornets
My Prediction: Lakers in 5
Actuality: Lakers in 6
I was close, Chris Paul willed them to one more win than I had thought. I wonder where he will end up one day, actually playing winning basketball.

3) Mavs vs. 6) Blazers
My Prediction: Mavs in 7
Actuality: Mavs in 6
Dirk is getting ready for Kobe, because the Mavs and Lakers will be meeting for the first time in the playoffs. It's going to be off da hook. Blazers just didn't have enough.

4) Sonics vs. 5) Nuggets
My Prediction: Sonics in 5
Actuality: Sonics in 5
Everything I said came true, Durant, Westbrook, and Perkins are just too good. Nuggets and Carmelo share a plane to Florida for cocktails.

Second Round Predictions

East

1) Bulls vs. 5) Hawks
The Bulls struggled their way to a series win against the Pacers in five, but can probably breathe a sigh of relief now that the Hawks knocked out Howard. The Bulls own the Hawks (like every other team in the NBA that does not play in Orlando) and now Hinrich is hurt, the only guy who can properly guard Derrick Rose. This should be cake. Bulls in 4

2) Heat vs. 3) Celtics
I cannot wait to enjoy watching these two teams beat the shit out of each other. I have despised LeBron since the days of not shaking hands after being eliminated from the playoffs, then he danced on the sidelines last year, left the free throw line to jaw at Noah on the bench (yet didn't get suspended or fined despite flagrantly violating NBA rule), abandoned his hometown team, did it on tv, didn't realize what the big deal was, and now is a part of this unnatural meld of superstars (him and Wade, Bosh sucks). I despise them with every ounce of my being and would very much like to see a depleted, tired Celtics team in the Conference Finals. Celts in 7

West

8) Grizzlies vs. 4) Sonics
These Grizzlies turned out to be one spunky, talented team. Armed with Randolph and the superior Gasol, they managed to wipe the floor with the Spurs, while the Sonics did the same with the scattered Nuggets. This should be a random dogfight of a series. I imagine that the Sonics are going to end up coming out on top, although I would not be surprised if the Grizz can pull out a second upset in a row. Sonics in 7

2) Lakers vs. 3) Mavs
The Mavs defied the odds by beating a team they should have beat and the Lakers defied no odds by playing lazily through the first four games of the series and winning through sheer talent rather than those unnecessary traits like effort or well run plays or any of that hogwash. Can Dirk take this team to the heights of beating the Lakers? I hope so, because I really would not like to see another Lakers threepeat, talk about boring. However, I find it hard to pick against the Lakers this early, maybe next round. We'll see. Lakers in 6

See Ya in the Conference Finals!